


4 & 5

by Wherefandomsthrive



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt, Intoxication, Klaus obviously runs away from all his problems but sometimes they catch up to him, Other, PTSD, alcohol consumption, forgive me for this, its literally a disaster but i love it, mentions of dave, mentions of death and war, mentions of delores, mentions of drug use, my attempt at keeping them as in character as possible while making them suffer, this idea was banging pots and pans in my mind at midnight, this is probably the most grown up conversation they've ever had with each other, this is what insomnia gets me, two brothers who are in desperate need of comfort, when Five puts up a tough guy front but is really just an old man who wants to REST
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:13:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28049811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wherefandomsthrive/pseuds/Wherefandomsthrive
Summary: “But especially that time, that blastedly, wicked, wonderful time.” Klaus’s voice took on that far away whisper again and as Five stared down at his curled up brother he didn’t need to see his eyes to know that they were glazed and far away.“I can still hear the yelling, the screaming and the sound of guns and bullets. I can smell the dirt and sweat and the sour fear that always,” Klaus broke off to shudder, “saturated the air. But most of all, I can feel the stillness. I remember the world being too loud but so quiet while I yelled over and over for help, for a medic, for Dave.” Five noted that even now, Klaus breathed the name like a prayer.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy & Klaus Hargreeves
Kudos: 43





	4 & 5

**Author's Note:**

> Hi y'all so I just finished the series on Netflix and am completely obsessed. This fic was an idea that took life at 1 am due to insomnia and is unbeta'ed so please forgive me. Also if you see any mistakes please let me know!
> 
> I also have some ramblings at the end note about my thoughts on these characters if that's of any interest. 
> 
> There are mentions of drug use, intoxication and war and death.

Klaus didn’t want to be alone. That fact ran loud and clear in his mind, like the tolling of a church bell as the actual ringing in his ears slowly faded. He was creeping toward sobriety at the worst time of day and his hands felt like they were lagging less as he patted around searching for his flask. Coming up empty, he groaned loudly before being abruptly cut off by the incoming pounding near the center of his skull. Blinking grittily he took in the fading light streaming into the room and became overly aware of the sinking pain in his back as lay strewn across the couch. Night was approaching quickly and Klaus knew he wouldn’t be sober enough in time for Ben to appear to help ward off the worst of his nightmares. 

A warm wave of panic brushed over him softly, sending a warm flush down his body and his breath hitched as it started to trigger a larger headache. A desperate twitch of his hands made him clench and unclench his hands as he took a deep breath and forced out a long exhale. If it turned a little shaky towards the end at least there was no one here to witness it. Klaus rose from the couch in a liquid fashion, fueled by the nagging in his head to find something to make the night bearable. He blinked widely, trying to rehydrate his eyes as he slowly stumbled closer to the bar. Body on autopilot he stumbled behind the bar, bending down and scanning with bleary eyes the numerous rows of half filled glass decanters. 

“Nothing down there is strong enough for you.” Klaus groaned as the whiplash from straightening too quickly kicked in as he took in Five’s overly amused smirk from where it played behind a glass of his own, swirling with a rich amber liquid. 

“Shouldn’t you be sipping on something a little more little umbrella and flamingos?” Klaus shot back, before hunkering back down and choosing a bottle at random before uncorking and sipping straight from the bottle. He could hear Five’s snort in response to his jab and took another long pull before leaning back on the bar, feeling more at ease after fulfilling his twitching need. 

“You don’t get to comment since you weren’t here to see me at my highest point.” Klaus drawls, taking another long sip from the bottle before swirling the now almost empty bottle in front of him, eyes glazing slightly as they follow the movements in the bottle. Five’s eyes narrow at the comment and he feels the fire of anger light in him at his brother’s dismissive comment before catching the expression carved so deeply in Klaus’s face. Despite the harshness of the words there was no malice behind them and Klaus’s drooped eyes contained a much deeper sadness than Five had initally noted. The were more lines near his eyes too, but not the happy crows feet from multiple smiles and laughs; these lines were carved under his eyes, shallowing out the flesh there and adding years to his face. Klaus moved to take the last swing of his bottle and in doing so the light changed to where Five could see the thinning of the hair on the side of his face, finally giving into the years of pressure of Klaus desperately pulling it back when high or emotional. Five’s calculated gaze also caught the depth of desperation that swam in Klaus’s eyes in the moment he brought the bottle to his lips. He felt that same pull resonating inside of him as well. They were both running. 

“Keep going like that and I’m going to have to be the one to drag your unsightly skirt clad ass out of here.” Five remarked as he watched Klaus discard the now empty bottle and replace it with a new one in seconds. It was Klaus’s turn to scoff and he rolled his eyes and smirked at his brother. 

“I think I have more experience than you give me credit for.” A cheshire cat smile curled on his face in the form of mock challenging. Five’s pride refused to let him back down from the jab as he cocked an eyebrow and lowered his drink slowly, thickening the building tension in the room. 

“I’m older than you remember? Don’t go thinking I’m without experience. I have more years than you could even hope to catch up with.” Five threw back, his voice settling comfortably into the aggressive tone. 

“And yet,” Klaus started breezily before taking the most relaxed sip of alcohol yet. “I can’t imagine there being,” he paused again to lavishly wave his arms about in an overly dramatic motion. “That much of heaven’s nectar in the apocalypse. Where here I’ve had access to some of the finest of this world’s offerings.” Klaus breathed, the smirk playing around his lips again as he gestured to the drinks while imitating the motions of smoking and taking pills. 

The competitive tension in the room rose as Five took a sip of his drink, eyes narrowing in a calculating manner. Klaus turned and leaned on the bar to look at him lazily, a small smile lifted the corners of his mouth. Five didn’t comment on how even with his eyes glazed over and droopy, Klaus’s eyes still reflected nothing but pain. He figured he probably didn’t appear much better with his teenage body gripping his glass just a tad too tightly and his movements just a little too deliberate and calculated. He could feel the restless, angry tick in his jaw wanting to make an appearance as well. 

“Whoever remains the most coherent after the next, let’s say hour can be claimed as victor then?” Five offered after an intentional glance at his watch. Wordlessly, Klaus outstretched his hand and grasped Five’s to seal the deal. 

  
  
  


“I told you not to underestimate me you absolute moron.” Five growled as he dragged Klaus down the hall. Klaus let out an airy chuckle while attempting to lift an arm to do a “cheers” motion. “You know for someone so gangly and bird-like you’re a lot heavier than I fucking thought you’d be.” Five groaned as he worked his jaw, continuing to haul his brother down the hallway towards his room. 

“I lost weight but gained muscle in the war.” Klaus’s whisper was distant now and Five could feel the difference in the body weight as Klaus went slightly limp, getting lost in memories and a flicker of melded pity and understanding struck Five like an electric shock, clearing the former annoyance and agitation that was rallied against his brother. He continued to haul the body further down the hall, every inch seeming to drag on for hours. 

“Why do you get so fucked up Klaus?” The question surprised Five as much as Klaus who startled back into the present with a jolt and another shift of body weight before sinking and becoming heavier. 

“Why don’t you tell me Mr. Old and Wise and Know Everything about Everything.” Klaus bit back, venom and emotion saturating his sassy reply and Five let himself smirk in amusement, blaming it on his own intoxication to be having this conversation with his sibling. 

“I want to hear you say it.” Five responded mildly and in perhaps the least aggressive tone he had used with Klaus in a long time and it seemed to trigger something in Klaus who physically flinched and ripped away from Five to instinctively curl into himself, a small whimpering gasp escaping from his lips. 

“Why do you think? To drown out the voices of the dead and escape the memories that haunt me.” Klaus whispered lowly, in a tone as if he was frightened those very ghosts would hear his confession. “But especially that time, that blastedly, wicked, wonderful time.” Klaus’s voice took on that far away whisper again and as Five stared down at his curled up brother he didn’t need to see his eyes to know that they were glazed and far away. “I can still hear the yelling, the screaming and the sound of guns and bullets. I can smell the dirt and sweat and the sour fear that always,” Klaus broke off to shudder, “saturated the air. But most of all, I can _feel_ the stillness. I remember the world being too loud but so quiet while I yelled over and over for help, for a medic, for _Dave_.” Five noted that even now, Klaus breathed the name like a prayer. 

Slowly, memories of his own started to arise from where he had buried them in his brain. Flashes of ruins and the smell of dust and decay filled his nose and Five felt his jaw tick. He could vaguely hear Klaus’s low rasp in the background but overpowered by the howling of the wind and the snapping and cracking of flames. The sickeningly familiar feeling of hopelessness and despair started lapping at his gut and Five jolted as if shocked and stamped every other emotion he could muster down on the creeping feelings. 

“Shhh shhh, you’re fine now.” He snaked his way under Klaus’s arms again, this time a little more gently and began to pull him down the hallway again as Klaus continued to quietly ramble of war, ghosts and loss. Five listened silently to the gasping words and panickily drawn in breaths as they made their way to Klaus’s room. By the time they arrived at his door, Klaus was gently trembling in sobs and when they stopped, he again curled into himself and Five sighed. 

“Don’t leave me here.” Something about the broken beg shattered some fragile, tucked away piece in Five’s brain and he felt his own crumble begin to rise. As quickly as he could, Five ushered Klaus into the room and onto his bed before crawling on next to him, cradled between his brother and the wall. The tidal wave of emotions continued to roar louder inside of him and every defense he had built up felt less and less stable as the seconds ticked by. He could feel himself tremble as he swallowed thickly and closed his eyes to focus on forcing everything down again and to maintain his composure. He could feel his nails dig into his palms as he clenched his fist and focused on biting pain instead of the roaring in his ears and the taste of ash and stale air in his mouth. He shook with determination to keep moving and could see flashes of Delores’s face urging him on through the seasons as the world shook and trembled. Then he could feel that it was him moving and not the crumbling world around him and could now hear Klaus’s usually airily high voice raspily yelling his name and Five blinked back into the world suddenly. His brother’s green eyes bore into him and a gasp startled out of him. 

Klaus collapsed back onto his back, letting his eyes flutter shut before letting out a long, shaky exhale. 

“You took a trip of your own back too?” Again he whispered, as if fearing his normal voice would be loud enough to break the fragile dome of emotion they had built around themselves in their intoxicated vulnerability. He licked his lips quickly, trying to soothe the sting that the salt left on the cuts in his lips and wash away the taste of Dave’s sweat and blood. 

“Yeah.” Five whispered back in the softest breath Klaus had heard him mutter in years and he looked over to see Five looking up at the ceiling, looking both smaller and older than he had earlier that day as if he was finally seeing the man Five really was under his youthful mask of a body. With that realization, Klaus’s head felt heavy as if he was coming off a multiple days’ high with no sleep and was being forced to take a math test. 

“Do you ever feel trapped in your own body?” Five’s flat, lifeless voie distracted him from the raising panic the heaviness in his head triggered. 

“More than you know.” He responded automatically in his signature, mischievous tone and he saw Five’s lips twitch into a smirk and for a moment his head felt lighter. 

“I think I have a pretty good idea.” Five responded in a tone closer to his typical know-it-all fashion. It was enough to force a painful cough of a laugh out of Klaus before it became a maddening cackle, causing Five to break his starring competition with the ceiling to glance at his brother. 

“God, look at how fucked up we are.” Klaus managed to wheeze. “Drunk and all soppy with our emotions, letting these stupid memories just take us for a joy ride. And what a miraculous ride it is too. A true roller coaster really with so many twists and turns they don’t even give you a queue.” He breathed with tears prickling at his eyes and body contorting awkwardly. 

“Well that’s how PTSD is moron, it sucks and you can’t really control it, despite what therapists say.” Five answered, sounding slightly more like his typical prideful self, even though resentment smothered his words. 

“At least we both have it and it’s not just me going crazy alone.” Klaus sighed, seeming to be at the end of his laughing fit and Five paused and looked over at him to see Klaus already looking back with a small smile on his face. 

“Yeah, we’re not alone.” He echoed, letting the meaning of the words settle in his chest a little more firmly, noting how suddenly he felt a little lighter. And by looking at the slight gleam of clarity in Klaus’s eyes, he knew Klaus could feel it too. 

**Author's Note:**

> Holy macaroni, this thing took off! When I first started with this idea I thought it would only be like 500 words. 
> 
> Maybe its the sleep deprivation but for some reason in my mind, war and the ruins of the apocalypse run very similar lines to me so I feel that naturally Five and Klaus would come to this understanding about each other as they both suffer and struggle through their PTSD. They obviously handle it very differently with Klaus trying to suppress and drown it by any means possible where Five represses and suffocates in it. I firmly believe that when one sees each other break that the other will break too just because the cracks in their shells are metaphorically the same.
> 
> I also have a headcanon about Five finding comfort in sleeping with his back against a surface since after so many years in the apocalypse he would have had to constantly be watching his back and therefore finds safety in being up against something solid. 
> 
> Additionally, I originally wanted to write about the morning after, where they both, now clearer of minds are able to recognize the relief and help it brought to have each other there while they experienced their own flashbacks and struggle but not wanting to actually acknowledge but I don’t think my writing capabilities are there yet and my brain certainly isn’t in the right place. This being said I want to somehow make a statement of them acknowledging that they can find comfort in each other and knowing that they aren’t alone in the PTSD struggle. Especially since that’s something very real for people with PTSD is that element of aloneness. Obviously their characters have a lot of work to do developmentally before they realistically hit this point but hey that’s what fanfics are for!


End file.
